1 Corinthians 13: Our Son’s Paraphrase for Such a Time as This

July 20th, a day we all float through with so many emotions. On this 7th anniversary of Taylor’s homegoing, I’ve prayed about even posting anything this year. We have so much to rejoice about in this season with Gary finally almost healed from 9 weeks of pneumonia, just to name one great praise!

The ache is still there but the joy knowing Taylor made Jesus the Lord of his life and is in His presence is such an overwhelming picture of peace and joy for me. My sorrow and joy are still dancing together…yet I asked the Lord if there was something He wanted me to share.

While praying throughout the day about this yesterday, I was walking down the hall and saw a framed copy of Taylor’s version of 1st Corinthians 13 he wrote during his premarital counseling. Reading in the hallway, I realized his paraphrase is so apropos for the state of the world right now. They also represent how Taylor seemed to love better than most.

I pray it inspires you as it challenges me to step up in areas of my life where I am weak in love…

1 Corinthians 13

  • Real love is being calm and silent when our human nature wants everything instantly.
  • Love doesn’t allow us to want anything from what our loved ones have.
  • True love doesn’t let us show that we are better to another but humbles us to what others need or don’t have in life.
  • Love shows no difference in life’s classes, allowing everyone to be equal.
  • When we truly love, we don’t put others down in anyway. Instead we build them up.
  • Love doesn’t allow us to put ourselves first but put others in front of ourselves.
  • It is calm and relaxed throughout stress, frustration and hurt.
  • It forgives wrongs done to us & leaves the past problems in the past.
  • When we love legitimately, we stay away from evil and sinful practices & places.
  • It fights for the ones they love & even ones they don’t know.
  • It is believing no matter what your thoughts were at first, they are telling the truth if they say they are.
  • Love always is pushing for the best.
  • It always continues through hardships & trials.

Immune Support

Basic Immune Support: Spirit, Mind, and Body

To continue from my last blog, I must first say that this Sabbath rest has been such a great gift to our multi-generational home. I have come home to protect my husband’s health and am blessed to supervise our granddaughter’s schooling only working in my office one day a week when patients are not there. We have sadly not been able to see our loved ones outside of our home and are looking at how to transition into our new normal. We have sick and vulnerable family members that we need to consider so, for our own health and theirs, we have been proactive in building our immune systems.

Below is an article I researched, with the support of my boss, Dr. Jeffrey Pease, and wrote for our patients regarding immune support. I want to share it with my friends and family as we step into a “transitioning new normal”. (I am not a practitioner. Please check with your practitioner before making changes in your health care plan.)

The Best Personal Defense Against Covid-19

As we step into the new phases of re-opening our state during the Covid-19 crisis, many are asking, “What do I do? How do I proceed?”, I am reminded of a recent preschool response to a Covid-19 discussion. When the teacher asked, “What can we do now to help our bodies not get sick?”, a little girl replied, “We wash our hands!” A little boy then piped up, “We are always supposed to do that!”

I would have to agree with him, we need to do what we already know is wise to protect our health. Building our immune system is the action we can take to protect us against this new viral enemy. 

Research Linked Items  

Below you will see the three areas to target and support your immune system with links for further information. 

While there are many research sources out there preaching “Build the Immune System”, you will notice I’ve used one trusted resource more than once below. It is the NCBI group, a non-biased research center that carries no ties with allopathic, functional or natural medicine organizations.  This National Center for Biotechnology Information group advances science and health by providing access to biomedical and genomic information. 

Spirit, Mind, and Body

This current crisis has challenged us so much in our lives with fear and confusion as we listened to opposing opinions and faced making difficult decisions. The disease, and the sudden change it brought, challenged the most grounded people in their spirit, mind, and body. 

Looking at the full picture of spirit, mind, and body in this crisis, Dr. Caroline Leaf, one of my favorite resources for mental & physical health, addresses our response to stress in a pandemic.

Spirit and Mind Support

Let’s begin with the spirit and the mind. Here are some ways we can support our spirits and our minds, plus those around us. Stress out of control affects our whole being. Finding tools to balance our brain with a calm spirit and mindful thinking, can greatly reduce our stress levels and thus increase our immune power.  

Some of those tools are:

Gratitude – No matter your faith, being thankful is a no-brainer. Gratitude can push fear aside and remind us of what we do have. So many good things have come from this crazy time. Make gratitude lists and share your stories with others. Re-frame your discouragement with a grateful vision to change and calm your brain. In my home we are grateful for rest, meals together and better communication. Our renewed teamwork spirit got our whole acre cleaned up and giant garden planted!

Generosity – When we see how much we have, we also see how much we can share. Getting our eyes off our own troubles and looking to lift others up always changes our hearts.

Prayer and Meditation – Tell God your fears and ask Him for answers, meditate on His promises, and surrender things you don’t need to carry. Psalm 91 gives us a great picture of His care for us in the worst of times. My new common mantra is from 2 Timothy 2:17 (ESV) God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. If we truly understand God’s love for us, we will know He has our best interest in mind.  For research on prayer, here are two sources: Dr. Leaf and this article from Huff Post

Some other ideas to support your spirit and mind: 

  1. Limit how much news you watch. 
  2. Make lists to get your to-do lists off your brain and organized visually.
  3. Establish one or two friends you can hash out life with – video chats add honey to the conversation.
  4. Sit in silence for 15 minutes without screen time. (Try it – it’s hard!!)
  5. Garden and leave your phone in the house. God teaches me most in my yard.
  6. Don’t make decisions to please people, make decisions based on your responsibilities including family, friends and work, and yes, trust your gut feelings (Holy Spirit). 
  7. Remember we do our best and God does the rest.

Body Support

Consistent Chiropractic Care – Keeping your spine in alignment sends the proper messages to your body systems. US News and World Report – Surprise: Chiropractors Can Treat These 5 Conditions and more!

Rest/Sleep – No screen time 2 hours before bed. Meditate, pray, take slow deep belly breaths.
Relax – Really learn to relax, read a book or watch a movie that makes you laugh.
Exercise – Walk or the equivalent of at least 30 minutes a day.
Healthy Eating – Eat well, including fresh organic fruits, vegetables and protein. The WD or Western Diet is not the brainiest choice for preventing Covid-19.  

Supplemental Immune Support

Because our food sources are so depleted, we all need vitamin and mineral supplements, especially in seasons of viral/bacterial risks. Researchers reviewed Covid-12 and stated in light of our current Covid-19, Considering current pandemic of COVID-12 where no effective preventive and curative medicine available. A healthy immune system is the most important weapon against the viral infections.”

Recommended Supplements

(Before starting any new supplement protocol, it is advised you check with your provider. Regarding these supplements – * Not all these statements have been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.)

VITAMIN D – This is an extremely important supplement, especially for us in the Northern Hemispheres who do not get enough sun. In our office we use Standard Process’ Cataplex D. If you need a Vitamin D that does not contain milk, I use one from the Karlfeldt Center (currently out of stock) or Thorne Vitamin D (currently in stock).

VITAMIN C –  Our office uses Cataplex C. Additionally, The Cleveland Clinic  recommends Vitamin B6 and E, which we also carry.

VITAMIN A –In light of the respiratory problems associated with Covid-19  this interesting quote stood out in this recent article,  “VitA is an integral part of the mucus layer of both the respiratory tract and the intestine.” Our office uses Cataplex A as one source. 

ZINC – Zinc is an essential micro-nutrient that helps regulate the body’s immune system to adapt to new challenges. Our office option is Zinc Liver Chelate

Comprehensive OptionImmuplex, which, except for Vitamin D, includes these items listed above, plus more, all in one daily option. Our household has been taking this and Vitamin D drops since Christmas and we have not had any viral illness. That is with a young elementary student living in our home!

I hope this helps encourage you as you move through this new and strange time in history. With prayers for a fearless, healthy, and peaceful time of transition for all.

Abiding, rest

Resting in the Corona Dilemma

Having made a decision to not go see my aging dad and stepmom in Seattle this week, the whole Corona virus dilemma became real to me and has kept me from a trip I’ve been looking forward to for months.

Approaching my trip, I personally planned to build up my immune system, wash my hands, and trust God, choosing to not live in fear of getting the disease myself. Balancing fear with responsibility, moved me to not expose myself in an airplane and thus expose my aging parents.

If you know me, I tend to look at both sides of issues and like to point out the benefits of each side. I’m living in a position of listening to both sides of this Corona virus issue, working in a natural health field and having two sons in the allopathic health field. I firmly believe in protecting our health and others, intentionally building our immune systems and doing our best to keep our vulnerable co-humans healthy. I can see the good points of each debate, but I see a bigger picture.

In the quantum realm, this is not about overreacting or under reacting to this dilemma.
Maybe it’s about God, His love for all of us and His gift of rest.

Genesis 2:1-3
Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.

For the last year, I’ve been learning about Sabbath years and practicing rest for the first time in my life, finding deeper peace and healing than ever experienced before. As I processed my experience with how the pandemic is affecting our Western Lifestyles, I thought,

“Wow, what a gift! God, You want to give rest to all!”

I’m listening to my kids discuss mandatory working from home, schools possibly closing, and seeing parents having more time with children, more rest, more being in the moment, like I did with our granddaughter last month. Precious moments!

In some way or another, we will be slowed down for the next few weeks, whether we agree with methods or not. Surrender to this gift! It might mean a richer family life, healing, and more importantly, time with our Creator to strengthen us and give us a greater gift, a restful peace living in the moment so we can know our Him better.

(For another mom’s perspective)

Psalm 46:10 NIV
 “Be still, and know that I am God;

Abiding, Freedom, Grief, Healing, Living in the Moment

A Deeper Healing Journey Begun…Be in the Moment…Rest…Freedom From Heaviness…

I listened to this new song, Freedom, by my friend, Cindy, this morning. It reminded me of my journey after a long roller coaster season of grief. In the last 7 years, I have experienced sharp pain, healing in hope, practicing joy, going back into time of healing, then grieving again.
Last year began with finding joy appearing naturally, hope rising to give me strength, only to find more places God desires to heal, tears, then wanting the roller coaster to end. Asking for direction, God revealed to me powerfully, as I crashed physically, I was letting work become my alcohol hiding unresolved pain from all the death I had experienced.
He invited me to join Him on a journey to heal me deeper in body, mind and spirit. Gradually, I’ve realized over the last year, this means, first, practicing rest then learning to surrender and take the waves of life, living in the moment God gave me. Not dwelling on the past or intense planning for the future, leads to finding joy and a deeper surrender of aches and pain, continuing to rest in the arms of Jesus.
God gave me Cindy’s song, then let me see the peek of spring sunshine in a walk today. I felt a new freedom from heaviness, and it opened my heart to see the hope that healing is progressing, reminding me again that this is what it feels like to really live again.
I know this season of healing and rest is not over, it may rain or even snow tomorrow, but the peace that has come has brought new life energy in this moment that I will remember in the next wave of life.
Listen to Cindy’s song, be in the moment, rest in His arms and ask Jesus what you need to let Him carry for you.
Psalm 118:24
This is the day which the LORD has made;
Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Art Therapy, Bright Side, Gratitude, Grief, Growth in Trials, Healing, Kintsugi Art, Trials, Trust



But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

For nine months,  I’ve been walking through a renewing of the mind process through Dr. Caroline Leaf’s program, 21 Days to Detox Your Brain using her Switch phone app and other resources. I began this as, like all of us, there are many areas in my life that need work, some that I decided were long overdue for a transformation. From insecurities and bad habits to grief, loss and transitions in life, I have had great victories in my life through this program. https://drleaf.com/

“Frame your world with your words.” ~ Caroline Leaf, Who Switched Off My Brain?

You’ve probably heard one of these phrases “re-frame your life,” “re-image your pain,” or the ever popular “make lemonade out of lemons.” In her writing and work, Dr. Leaf refers to this as re-conceptualizing your past, toxic thoughts, stress, conflict or pain. For one example she uses the image of a beautiful art form, Kintsugi Art. Japanese Kintsugi Art is the art of repairing pottery with lacquer that has been mixed with gold, silver or platinum powder. The word, Kintsugi, literally means “to mend with gold”.

In the Switch app Dr. Leaf encourages us to see our stories, good and bad, with a welcoming heart and honor respecting all aspects of who we are. Because of some past regrets, scars and pain in my life still dragging me down, I quickly latched on to this new idea.  I find great healing in writing and even deeper healing in art therapy, so I decided to step into this process through my own Kintsugi vase repair project on paper.

Dr. Leaf’s comparison of Kintsugi art to our humanity prepared my mind for this project. She explained each vase or bowl has a history that needs to be honored rather than thrown away. Creative repair treats the cracks as part of the life of the vase rather than a wound to disguise.  So, all our personal stories, good and bad, have shaped us and need to be respected as well. Emphasizing that our story is worthy of honor we thus welcome the process of being human. She goes on to add an idea that really hit it for me: We experience lasting healing when we acknowledge our full story because it keeps us from staying in bondage to the negativity of our past. Anxious to see the gold healing in my past, I gathered my thoughts and art supplies on hand to set out on my new adventure.

Below are the practical steps I took in my Kintsugi art therapy project. Not a potter, I used my modest drawing and painting skills. Each step took me a month or so as I needed time to meditate on the whole process. Now four months later, I am still processing but feel ready to share 😊.

In our rush to fix our problems,
we neglect to allow space and time for our wounds to teach us.
~ Richard Rohr


I knew I needed to first sketch the details of my life and toxic thoughts I’d been working on in the last few months. I drew a vase, made cracks with the abbreviated pain or toxic thought underneath the line with the re-framed picture of that pain on top of the line.

kintsugi sketch image


Step 2: Draw Another Vase and Paint it Using Acrylics on a Paint-Friendly Board or Canvas

I then drew out three vases on watercolor board. Three, because I’m a perfectionist and wanted to make sure I had three chances in case I messed up. (Watercolor board because that’s what was handy). Using acrylic paint, I painted my vases then chose the one I liked best to work with further.

1st kintsugi vase no cracks_20190828_175343(1)This original vase represents what I was intended for when God created me. As I painted, I meditated on the gifts God gave me, my strengths, my passions and I thanked him for all the blessings He has poured into my life. I added shadows knowing from the moment He created me, He was aware of the pain I would experience in my life. This took about three days to add layers of light and shadow.



Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


cropped 2nd kintsugi vase with cracks no gold20190828_181845Step 3: Draw Cracks with Fine Sharpie

After the paint was fully dried, I added cracks, meditating on the pain and imperfections, surrendering those that still needed to be relinquished. As I added each crack, I dealt with the pain again, making sure I was honest about each toxic thought or loss. As Dr. Leaf encourages, each time we speak out a toxic thought, it begins to die.

You cannot heal what you cannot acknowledge. ~ Richard Rohr


Step 4: Cover the Cracks with Gold Paint Sharpies

I was extremely nervous for this next step. I found it interesting that my insecurities were coming up even in my painting. Finally, I just had to take the dive and do it. It was freeing after the first line and, soon, I began to truly enjoy the whole process as I meditated and expounded on the re-framed visions of my toxic thoughts and beliefs.

  • I thanked God He had redeemed my dysfunctional original family. I thanked Him for each of those family members and the blessing they are to me.
  • I thanked God that He had provided such a great support to me in my grief through His Word, worship, others and His Spirit in the loss of our son plus preparing me my whole life to trust Him in that pain.
  • Daily, I need to trust our Creator and not worry about my husband and children, in the fallout of losing a child/sibling, because God is writing their stories just like He is writing mine. He loves them more than I do.
  • The ultimate approval I need is God’s. I need not worry about what others think if I am loving God with my whole heart and loving others as myself.
  • Through the cross I am fully forgiven and need not carry shame for anything. Though others may not think highly of me, my God delights in me and died for me on the cross even when I was a sinner.
  • I am grateful for so much I don’t need to be discontented.
  • I need not fear conflict or stress because communication brings growth in myself and in my relationships and stress strengthens us when we see it as a gift.
  • I need not fear pain, illness or financial instability when I’m accountable and am a good steward of my body and finances because God delights in me and will provide all I need to live an abundant life.


Seeing the beautiful gold highlights in my once, plain and cracked vase, revealed at a deeper level how beautiful the healing is in my life. It reminded my heart, He is bigger than all the cracks and attacks in my life. Without them, His golden glory would not be so evident in my life.

Step 4: Looking Through Other Filters

This summer, my husband, Gary, introduced me to a camera phone app filter, Prisma, which is so much fun. This took me to another level of contentment and creativity in this project. The filter adds different colors, highlights and twists in the graphics. After taking photos of my paintings, experimenting with the filters started me thinking about all the seasons of life. Each moment in life has different reflections of light, people, weather, pain, spiritual growth, geography and, the list goes on. Once again, our all-sovereign all-powerful Creator makes a new moment with a unique vision of our lives and how many ways He shines that love on our lives.


Final Encouragement to You: 

I encourage you to at least sketch out the cracks in your life and begin to re-frame those cracks. Maybe some of you really adventurous artists may want to take a broken pot or throw one to fire for this project for your life. Whether you sketch, paint or draw, I pray healing will come and God will be glorified in your honored story.

John 16:33 (NIV)

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”


Healing, Hope, joy, Psalm 30:5, Uncategorized

Surprised by Laughter and Deep Joy

Psalm 30:5b (Good News Translation)

Tears may flow in the night,
    but joy comes in the morning.

When you lose a child, happiness is hard to find. You practice joy and fun for years, hoping one day it will come naturally. You focus on your hope of Heaven and look for God’s fingerprints in your tragedy. Each year it becomes a little easier, yet you forget what a truly good belly laugh really feels like. Then one day, you are surprised by joy and it takes your breath away.

Tonight was one of those brief powerful kisses-from-God-moments for me. First, I was listening to our firstborn talk about his seven-year-old daughter and the joy in her precocious observations of life. I felt a sudden burst of emotions of joy mixed with awe and pride over what a wonderful dad Shawn is. I had to ask him to scoot over and sit next to me so I could hug him and just tell him how proud I am of what an amazing dad he is.

A few minutes later, Bethany showed me a “princess post” on Facebook comparing Disney princesses to what we really would be like if we were that princess as real humans. Suddenly, I saw myself in those truly human versions of princesses and was overtaken with such deep humor, giggling and joy that I couldn’t stop laughing and my belly hurt and is still hurting now, an hour later.

God promises in this Psalm that weeping will last for a time, but joy is on its way. I wasn’t looking for joy tonight, yet it showed up, (maybe with a little help from caffeine).

Princess Photos with Belly Laugh Videos Bethany Took in the Comments

Grief, Healing, Hope, joy, Uncategorized

A Time to Be Human: Sorrow and Joy Can Dance Together Part 2

Ecclesiastes 3:4 (ESV)

 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

In Sorrow and Joy Can Dance Together,

I was heavy on joy, light on sorrow.

This week is heavy on sorrow, light on joy.

Feeling very human…so many emotions…

February 7th – Our very close friends’ daughter, Jesse, died – a time to weep…

February 8th – My wonderful dad’s 87th Birthday – a time to smile…

February 8th – The highlight of Josie’s year –a time for the Daddy Daughter Dance…

February 9th – Celebrate the life of friends’ son, Mike – a time to mourn…

February 10th – Celebrate the birth of our beautiful daughter Bethany – a time to smile…

February 10th – Anniversary of the passing of precious friend Andy – a time to mourn…

Life goes on for some, drags for others, redeemed for many, renewed in Heaven for others.

Time will bring more healing…heavy on the joy again…

Revelation 21:4 (ESV)

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.


Children's Music, Cole Valley Christian Music, Frank and Betsy Hernandez Music, Pastor Timothy Keller, The Gospel Coalition, The New City Catechism

Proud of My Students – Thankful I Could Be a Part of Such an Amazing Project

Over the last 10 years, I have had the privilege of collaborating with the very humble and talented Dove Award Winning couple, Frank and Betsy Hernandez.

(See their website for the many albums and stories you, your children and siblings have probably heard throughout the last 30 years). His and Hernandez Music


Many of my students have been asked to sing on their albums over the years. The latest project they worked on is probably one of their very best: New City Catechism from Timothy Keller’s Gospel Coalition, which includes 52 songs, one for each point in the Catechism. Each song is catchy, worshipful and up to date for today’s children. The greatest deal is that THEY ARE FREE! You can download them and the music for your family, school or church. Final Installment: Songs from the New City Catechism

I was blessed to be asked to help with vocal production during the last recording sessions and had the time of my life. I am listed in the credits but didn’t deserve it 😊. It was just a ton of fun. My very patient students and I learned a lot about how albums are made. The  time it takes to record just one line, over and over, will make you appreciate recorded music every time you listen! The album I worked on is Songs from the New City Catechism 4

Frank and Betsy and I are collaborating on our Christmas program this year as we are each doing our own version of the same musical, sharing a stage and ideas. Thank you, Betsy and Frank, for blessing me and our students and for allowing this amateur to be a part of God working through your gifts and lives!

Full New City Catechism information: The New City Catechism



Redeemed Joy


This will be a short post to follow up from my last post, Sorrow and Joy Can Dance Together. Brief because after praying for a positive ending to my book, God provided that very clearly on June 30th, in our backyard wedding where we celebrated the marriage of Taylor’s best friend to Bethany’s best friend, with my amazing husband officiating.

Between our nephew’s wedding, this back yard wedding, and other family gatherings, God kissed our hearts to sweetly to redeem our joy, but I don’t want to spoil it for any readers of my book (which probably won’t be all published and ready until next spring).

Suffice it to say for now, God poured blessings over us abundantly.

Here is a little video I put together from our family phone cameras. Wedding Video of Jamison and Emily

Faith, Grief, Healing, Hope, joy, Romans 12:5

Sorrow and Joy Can Dance Together

Many people ask me how it feels to have Taylor’s wife, Michelle, and friends moving on in life, marrying and having children. The answer to that is very complicated to understand and explain but I’ll try with this oxymoronic truth: In Jesus, sorrow and joy can dance together.

Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Somewhere back as a little girl at church, I learned this and believe God knew one day I would need this verse impressed deeply in my heart. As I went through life, I tended to deeply feel the sorrow of others and like most, found it easy to enter into joy with others.

When Michelle, started dating one of Taylor’s best friends, Paul, this verse was again immediately impressed upon my heart. When they were engaged, we came together and all agreed to honor Michelle’s first marriage to Taylor and second marriage to Paul. In all of Taylor’s friends’ celebrations in the last five years, I have allowed myself to cry for the loss that Taylor isn’t here to celebrate with us and didn’t get to experience life events his friends can. In each instance those tears of loss were always mixed with tears of joy as I saw new life and love blooming, perfect gifts from God. More than that, I was honored and blessed to be invited into their joy and celebrations.

Recently, God took me to a new level of understanding in this truth. Paul and Michelle were blessed with a baby girl, Emma. This little angel has stolen my heart and the hearts her parents, grandma’s, and many others. She is a charmer and a flirt one minute and is not afraid to tell you what she wants the next; cute and spunky define her well. I’m also unbiased and convinced she is highly intelligent and God has great plans for her life. Watching her grow and learn is amazing. (I always say if every home had a baby in it, we wouldn’t need any other form of entertainment).

Emma Carla 20171009_094912

Last month, Paul and Michelle invited our family to join their family at Emma’s baby dedication. At this special ceremony, they did something very simple but so meaningful with a moment of silent prayer as the pastor asked us all to lift up all the couples and newborns to the Lord, asking Him to show his deep love to these children that they would, one day, receive His incredible love and gift of eternal life. As we each prayed this privately in our own words, the silence took my breath away as I felt the loving power of those prayers bringing hope and joy to our spirits.

After prayer and the parents returned to their seats, the worship team led us in a beautiful song I hadn’t heard, Reckless Love by Cory Asbury. The first line caught my heart, “Before I spoke a word, you were singing over me.” Maybe this was not the intent of the song writer, but in that moment, those two phrases showed me God preparing Emma’s life long ago. Before time began, He planned for beautiful Emma specifically to be born to Paul and Michelle with their DNA and her darling personality.  He also knew our son would be a part of their story and we would be a unique family abundantly blessed by her little life.

As I began listening to more of the song, the Lord pushed my imagination to see a bit of Heaven. While I’m not sure what our loved ones see from the other side, (Hebrews 12), I could almost see Taylor dancing around the throne of God in worship, reveling in the immense reckless love of his Creator and Savior. I could see our son smiling and looking down on us with his clear-eyed vision of truth and eternity – a bit cloudy to us on earth. He now fully understands God’s sovereign plan for all of us – Paul, Michelle, their families, Gary, me, our other kids and now, Emma. Without complicated earthly emotions, our Heaven-dwelling son gets it: God planned Emma’s life before time began and is rejoicing along with us in God’s sovereign plan. Taylor knows this new sweet life is an amazing gift that will be a joy to watch as it blooms in God’s love and blesses us along the way.

This summer, I’m looking forward to another joyous occasion as we are honored to be hosting with Gary officiating the wedding of Taylor’s closest friend, Jamison, who is marrying one of our daughter’s closest friends, Emily, in our backyard, where they all grew up with our children. I’m praying God might give Taylor a glimpse of that happy day, which he prayed for six years ago. I will shed some tears missing his presence at this new celebration but will shed even more happy tears for the new journey and new life of another couple in our story.