God kissed us in many ways in the days prior to Taylor’s burial and memorial. This excerpt from my book shows God’s compassion in that sharp immediate grief and the continued compassion with a little miracle kiss He gave me today in my dulled grief.
Friday, July 26th was Taylor’s burial and over 100 people attended. His amazing friends and brothers, those who had been his groomsmen, were the pall bearers, including his friend Trevor Powers who had quit his world music tour to attend. Such a sacrifice of love overwhelmed me. Taylor and Michelle’s marriage counselor, John, who had also married them, came home from a long trip to help with the burial and memorial. He and his wife, Pauletta, spoke, and our godson, Josh, lead us in a couple songs of worship. Deciding against a casket flower drape, we loved Pauletta’s idea to hand out red roses for people to place on the casket after they shared stories of Taylor. Many shared fun anecdote’s and touching moments that started healing in our hearts. Stories were dying down and it was evident we were going to be leaving soon.
Sitting under the canopy tent resting in the quiet for a moment, we suddenly saw a hummingbird hovering over the flowers on the casket. It looked over the span of all the people, seeming to look into our families’ eyes, then flew part way into the congregation under the tent, stopping and looking, then moving to the back doing the same before it flew off. Everyone gasped in awe with no words to respond at the precious beauty of that moment.
The funeral director, cautiously stepped up to the microphone, clearing his throat, “I never speak at memorial services, but I have to say something. In all my fifteen years of doing services at this cemetery, I have never once seen a hummingbird up here.”
We all knew it was another kiss from God.
At this writing moment, four years later, I have had a really hard time with physical grief memory. My body aches the same way it did the week our son left. The week of Taylor’s death anniversary, two weeks ago, I had not seen a hummingbird on our feeder all summer, although Angie and Josie had seen a couple. I asked the Lord if he could please let me see one sometime this year. From the next morning on, I have seen one every day. The last few days I have been sick and extra heavy in my heart. This morning, I opened the sliding door to let our dachshunds out. Sticking my head out to see what the temperature was, a hummingbird was less than two feet away from me looking directly into my eyes! God knew I needed a big kiss today. He is so good!